the red-eye flight
You were walking slowly,
with a sweet smile.
You took my hand
and uttered “Hi”
That look on your face when I first saw you, behind the arrival gate, made my world run in a cinematic slow motion.
That same look on your face, while you were standing still in the departure hall, put my life in a dizzying whirl.
It was brief. Will a week ever be enough to say that it isn’t just another on-the-road fling?
For what we shared in that crazy city will forever confuse and alter my concept of dream and reality.
Airports usually give me a feeling of exhilaration. But now it was loss and I feel nothing but weakness and defeat.
The cold marble floor conducted an immense sadness and the soft christmas carol touted an air of loneliness.
Feet rooted onto the ground… Heart tied so tight that it hurt.
The pain I felt leaving you was insignificant as compared to the pain of fear, of hopelessness, of the bitter reality that I will never see you again.
The echoing memories of fun and glee while we were dancing on the beach turned into a mute and empty rhythms only a longing heart would hear.
Helpless. Scared. Shattered.
The self built barriers I surrounded myself kept me warm and sturdy for a moment. But it made me immobile and restrained. Only the lamenting tears would tell the stories of an unheard plea.
I think I love you. Maybe I’m dreaming.
We stayed in touch after that trip. Stupid and childish that I let the feelings bloom and grow despite the uncertainty.
Will I be seeing you again? Maybe not this year. Not after the next. Maybe not in this lifetime.
Never again will you wrap your arms around me.
Never again will you play with my fidgety hand under the dinner table.
Never again will I feel those soft lips pressing against mine that spun me to a perpetual vertigo.
You walked away,
with soaked eyes.
You took my heart,
and said “good bye”