the faces of sydney

 

The Boeing Dreamliner was cruising from west to east, essentially against time, towards the antipodean sunrise head on. In a matter of what I thought was few minutes of sleep, I was woken up with a breast of a woman in her mid-fifties dangling inches away from my face—“Oh sorry my dear. I’m just closing the window. It will be morning really soon.

 

The flight attendant, reaching across to adjust the digital tint of my window. It surely perked me up. And it was a relief for more reasons than one.

Sydney welcomed me with a pleasant weather: A sunny spring morning with cheerful Aussies’ smiling faces behind their gleaming sunglasses, girls in pastel sun dresses and boys in knee-high socks. It was a music video of an Australian version of My Favorite Things happening right in front of my eyes.

 

I was pretty sure egg’s benedict and cups of flat white were just the welcoming band to this epicurean escapade. Don’t get me started on emu pizza and kangaroo steak.

 

 

Day 1 was pretty perfect as if nothing will ever go wrong. Until the second day came.

 

The view from our balcony is at eye level with the clouds looming over the harbour. The cheery faces were nowhere to be found. The damp air and chilly wind brought out the dark side of the city–It was foreboding, it was beautiful.

Although the heavy downpour seemed to have washed away the happiness down to the sewers. The concretes weep with grimes and mildews like a new old metropolis, like Gotham city in broad daylight, like a stationary scene in film noir.

 

Dear Bjork, I wish you were here.

 

 

The mood of Sydney sans the sun reminded me of how hostile Australia is.

 

Few days before the trip, I was thronging information about this destination to the point of vomiting by mere sight of anything Aussie. Yes, including Kylie Minogue.

 

To sum-up what I read, Australia in a nutshell is a huge subcontinent filled with the craziest NOPES in the history of this planet. Try googling “weirdest animals in…” and the search engine will finish the sentence for you.

 

Perhaps when Noah hoarded the pairs of reptiles he thought they were dangerous so he sent them all down under. Including the snakes that can eat everything, from giant bats to full grown adult wallabies.

They also have the world’s most lethal jellyfish, beetles, centipedes, snails and meningitis causing amoeba, a micro-fucking-scopic amoeba!

 

Australia got animals found nowhere else in this universe. As if when evolution happened, they misread the memo, because they were too drunk. What else?

 

While surfing the net in our hotel, a headline popped-in my feed “It was raining spiders in Australia”  Why not butterflies? Or fairy dusts? Or unicorn poop? Why of all things, spiders?

 

THAT’S IT! I raised my two middle fingers and was ready to walk out towards the Pacific Ocean mindlessly chanting NOPE-NOPE-NOPE-NOPE-FUCK! Fuck I can’t go to their open waters, I totally forgot about the infamous shark attacks.

 

  • http://www.projectgora.com/ Milet Miranda

    Amazing photos Ron! At ang ganda ng bagong web layout mo! Panalo! ^_^

  • http://flipntravels.wordpress.com flipntravels

    Yeeee! Salamant Milet

  • http://www.siteinfoz.xyz web headers

    was told everything in Australia will try to kill you.